I learned something at Halloween this year. People don’t care much for literature. But they FRIGGING ADORE cured meats. As previously mentioned, I was Scout Finch when she dressed up like a ham at the end of To Kill a Mockingbird. Everywhere I went, people would scream, “Ham! Ham! Hey, Ham!” I felt like the fat kid in an after-school special.
Everyone loved it. For its hamness. In the populace’s defense, it is a smallish part of the book, and most people probably haven’t read it since High School, but I really thought more people would get it. I had the following conversation with a stranger at a party:
GIRL: I love your costume!
ME: Thank you!
GIRL: Can I get my picture taken with you?
ME: Oh! Um, sure! (We pose) So, are you a fan of To Kill a Mockingbird, or do you just like ham a lot?
GIRL: I’m Jewish. I thought it would be funny.
The ham itself was incredibly cumbersome, as one could imagine. There are no armholes, and only a small hole to see out of in the front. I did a pH show in the thing, and had to keep craning my neck and jamming my mouth up into the eyehole so people could hear me talk. I mostly just tottered around while people laughed. I also played a vending machine, R2D2, and a giant poop.
Due to the armlessness of the ham, when I went to iO later, I brought bendy straws. Then Arnie, Sarah, and Cesar took turns feeding me my drinks through my eyehole. I thought people might find it annoying, but all three seemed pretty delighted by the situation.
There is now a human-sized ham in my living room. Molly wants to use it as our Christmas tree.
Everyone loved it. For its hamness. In the populace’s defense, it is a smallish part of the book, and most people probably haven’t read it since High School, but I really thought more people would get it. I had the following conversation with a stranger at a party:
GIRL: I love your costume!
ME: Thank you!
GIRL: Can I get my picture taken with you?
ME: Oh! Um, sure! (We pose) So, are you a fan of To Kill a Mockingbird, or do you just like ham a lot?
GIRL: I’m Jewish. I thought it would be funny.
The ham itself was incredibly cumbersome, as one could imagine. There are no armholes, and only a small hole to see out of in the front. I did a pH show in the thing, and had to keep craning my neck and jamming my mouth up into the eyehole so people could hear me talk. I mostly just tottered around while people laughed. I also played a vending machine, R2D2, and a giant poop.
Due to the armlessness of the ham, when I went to iO later, I brought bendy straws. Then Arnie, Sarah, and Cesar took turns feeding me my drinks through my eyehole. I thought people might find it annoying, but all three seemed pretty delighted by the situation.
There is now a human-sized ham in my living room. Molly wants to use it as our Christmas tree.
1 comment:
a christmas ham would be lovely
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