Busnap!

There are few things at which I consider myself an authority. Even the fairly substantial aplomb that I am able to demonstrate with several things, (Broadway musicals/Jane Austen novels/playing foosball) is often eclipsed by someone who has more flair/intelligence/wrist strength. One thing at which I am an expert is falling asleep on the bus. Let me share some tips for making your bus ride a productive and restful one.


1) Abandon pride.

- You will never get a decent ride’s sleep if you worry about looking like a tool. I will give you tips to curtail your tooldom as much as possible, but at some point, you must relinquish self-awareness in order to really snag those z’s. Consider this – lots of people fall asleep on the bus. Take comfort in the fact that after reading this, you will probably be better at it that they are. Also, it may help to imagine that people are thinking, “Oooh. What an exciting life they must lead. The only time they have for rest is their 45-minute commute.”


2) Choose your seat well.

- Get a window seat. This is crucial. You have something to lean on, no one will bump you with their bag/knee/crotch in the aisle, and you don’t have to worry about falling out, or getting up for the person that sits next to you if their stop comes before yours.

- Examine the window for greasy face stains from previous sleepers. Even if you do avoid touching the smudge, the thought of it will distract you from your slumber.

- The left side of the bus is ideal. On the left side, the only people outside of the bus that can see you are those that are driving – usually in opposing traffic. They cannot commit time to looking at your gaping maw and half-open eyes. On the right side are people waiting at bus stops. They will have the time to savor looking at your face mushed up against the window like an orphan at a bakery.

- If your bus has it, and you can get it, sit in the seat that is right in front of a partition. Then you will have a place behind you to lean your head, and don’t need to worry about the crazy and painful jerk-backs that falling asleep with an unsupported head can often cause.

- Also, never sit in the sideways seats. The seats parallel to the length of the bus not only lack leaning walls, but there are more people that can see you. They are across from, and perpendicular to your face. Terrible.

- Avoid sitting directly in front of the sideways seats, too. The person behind you will be much closer to you. If your head does flop back, you will whack someone in the face. Plus, if you have long hair, the person will accidentally pull it when they shift in their seat.

- I do not recommend the very back row of the bus. You are shoulder to shoulder with people, and it’s usually weirdly hot back there.


3) Have the right gear.

- Sunglasses are great. They shield the sun, and make your eye-droops less noticeable.

- Hats and hoods help too. I don’t generally recommend putting your head directly against the window, but hats and hoods make a great barrier if you happen to do so.

- Music device. Soothing music is very helpful, but make sure it’s on pretty low. You need to be able to keep semi-aware and hear the stops. Headphones also curb neighbors trying to chat you up.

- I do not recommend a book. If you’re going to sleep, commit to it. Also, when you start falling asleep, you will drop the book and call attention to your sleeping. You will also probably look kind of dumb because it looks like you can’t manage to read a book without passing out.


4) Settle in.

- Make sure your arm is well-looped through your purse if you have one. (A purse, not an arm.) Obviously you are looking at a dangerous situation by allowing yourself to leave a conscious state when in a tube full of strangers. You probably shouldn’t be sleeping on the bus. But if you’re going to, hold on to those belongings.

- Head position depends on location. If you have a seat where you can put your head back against a partition, get on that. With a window, I usually lean my body against it, and prop up my elbow and lean on my hand. If you don’t want to or cannot lean on something, try and keep your head a little forward. If you flail, it won’t be as drastic, and you won’t bump your head on anything.


5) Wake-up in time for your stop.

- This is probably the most challenging. It may take a few tries of getting less-engulfed in sleep than you need so that your body can get used to when it needs to wake up. Stay a little paranoid and let yourself wake up a lot and look around the first few times. In the hundreds of times that I’ve slept on the bus, I have missed my stop once. That’s pretty good. An express route is usually great, because your body will notice the difference when you turn off Lake Shore Drive, or start making regular stops again.


Well, that’s about it, future-napper. I am a big fan of bus napping. Despite the obvious pitfalls, the bus if far-preferable for sleeping than the train. If do you miss your stop, you can just walk back a block or two, instead of having to get back on a train going the other way. Also, there is a driver right there. People probably aren’t as likely to stab you.